Friday, March 9, 2012

If I could...

I would repeat that first date over and over again. You get these feelings that sometimes fade after a while, or are only around during that first meeting. Most things you learn are absolutely amazing, and at times you don't know if the person you were meeting is honest about themselves or if they are going to fuck you over the first chance that they are able to.

Changing the times I take medication are a little weird and Dr. Hanson wants to see me in a week to see if I am doing any better switching things around. I feel like that is going to be a lifelong struggle for me to find what's going to work and what is going to keep me level.

Uncertainty fucks everything up. First date was amazing, and the best one that I have ever been on, with anyone. Going over there today I kept feeling rushed and he seemed upset that I had to go. I care for him a great deal, but he told me we would take things slow, and for once I agree with that. I want us to get to know each other and by the way today went I don't know if he is on the same page that I am and I hate the not knowing. As fucking usual I am going to have a horrible time trying to sleep, and my fucking computer isn't keeping up my tying so I have to keep stopping and check and see what is the fucking progress. fuck this, i update on my fucking phone

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