Being Gay Sucks.

Lol. I feel so out of place. One of the reasons I didn't come out when I was a kid. I knew very young that I was gay but I was so afraid of being made fun of or that people like my friends and family wouldn't love me because of it. I didn't want a life of struggle so I said I liked dick. Then I was able to say that I was bi and that was enough for a while. It isn't now. I was confused for years because I buried my sexuality in the deepest place I could and would hold the little experiences I had with women and keep them close because that's when I felt normal. Would I wish a life where people will look at me either just to stare or just to judge me for who I love? Why would I want ridicule? Why would I want to do something that many people view as wrong? It's simple...I don't want to live a lie. Luckily I have many people who love me and they don't care who I love. It's weird because when I came out I didn't care if I was with anyone. I have been talking to a girl for a couple months but I don't feel compelled like I used to when it comes to being with someone. I don't know how long it will last but I don't mind being single. My mom has been making me uncomfortable because of this. I hop she will get used to it. I'm upset, I can't type anymore now. I'll get back to this later.