aleays dancing the line...

So I went nuts again. I didn't do anything stupid but I missed appointments goalkeeper of my doctors and I didn't do much for weeks. I pretty much figured out that kids a re a no go. I can barely take care ofnyselfmost of the time. If I end up seeing someone it would be cool if they already had kids. Or not at all. Plus my med that keeps me the mist sane causes birth defects and I don't think ishould have to put a child through that,and growing up I mightbe inane out of the hospital... I am planning on dating, I don't think imready for a relationship anyway.as long as my plan still stays im going to be busy going to school full time ins coupleyears. God it sucks typing on mynook, my ocd will make me fix the mistakes later. I think about fred a lot, I hope he is doing alright over there. I need some time to myself and I think that if I don't have a lot of homework I plan on reading the hunger games...im almost 80 pagesin I think. I think I am going to start reading the bookcase that is full of books. Glad that I have a bunch that I haven't read yet because I wont be spending much lately because of how much in debt I am. I amhoping to have it all paid off in a year. Since I am going to chicago to watch julies house I plan on using that money to get either my next tattoo with it or mom's. Maybe the julie money will be hers and then I can get mine around my birthday. The paper that I wrote does t feelright but today is just peer editing so I wonthave to have it done until Wednesday. Im hoping I havelearned enough coping skills to stay ok for a while. The last timeout was in the hospital was lastyear I think. I think I have learned all that I could from that program. I just hope I never get suicidal again, there is nothing more s carrier thanthat. It helps that I feellike I have something to live for, I feel that my life has meaning now. I am getting good grades asfaras I know, she is going to tell us what our grades are inthe class to right. I am excited to see how well I am doing. Ok, back to trolling the interwebs.