to drop or not to drop...

I talked with Dr. Hanson about how I have been doing, some things I had kept to myself and some things I was in denial about. I want to achieve so much but I am always afraid of failing, like if I did I would never be able to try and do it again. I am also having problems sleeping. Ian at the point where sleeping scares me and I try and stay up as long as I can before passing out.I told her all of this and a little bit more that I don't remember at the moment (I did tell her about still not smoking) so I am om this new medication "cogentin" which is supposed to go with my saphris. So I am on saphris, depokote, xanax (when needed), flexoril (when needed), vicodin (when needed), levbid (stomach med), and the newest, cogentin. Two more pills a day because on I am going to take them morning and night. I have noticed a difference and I have only had two doses. It is supposed to help me mellow out and it is so far. My doc said that maybe I should drop one of my classes because I am having a hard time with all the stress I am encountering and I don't know what I can to at this moment to make it better. I am going to try but I don't know if I am going to be able to go full time with school for a while. I think jam going to stay with 2 classes at a time and when I am more comfortable I can go up to 3 or more but I need to be confident that I will be able to do it.I have been up around 36 hours and I am afraid to sleep so I am trying to relax so that I don't panic. I know that I will always have a me talk illness and that I will have times where I don't even understand what's going on, but I am going to try my best to do my best and hopefully keep moving forward, or standing still while the rest of.me catches up.Watching House with Me and trying to relax, I have to take my sleeping pill to get to sleep.Im just happy to be out of my house...starting to hate being under my parent's roof still.