*sigh*

i have been having more fucked up sleep than usual. its like every other day i am up for like 20 hours (on average) and then i sleep for like 14 hours. then...its just crazy.

i am back on my meds, but meds aren't a perfect pill thing. i know that. but even with the help of the meds i am still down and having some hard times i don't really know how to deal with at this point. i almost want to go to therapy twice a week again but i can't afford it so i am just going to see how well i do on my own. i have been thinking about going into the hospital lately because everything is just weighing down on me. i guess i have to wait until i see what happens with court and everything else but i don't know if i can wait. it sucks with everything thats going on.

i have a few things to do. i am going to make a blanket for julie's baby, but i can't find my crochet hook. i am going to make a blanket that is similar to charlotte's but i am going with a different color scheme this time around. i have to get water for Adhesive. I did get a few things yesterday, i picked up a couple new books and one of them i am not sure if i like it or not because it was a different book than what i originally thought. i am still going to try and read it. i just have to get past this shitty parts.

i want to start drinking coffee again. i need to pick up creamer now that i think about it.

i should get going. i am trying to keep busy until mom comes home. i hope she feels like going with me i don't feel like going anywhere alone today.

later blog.